The definition of optimal is "best or most favorable". How do we live our best lives? What is favorable to one person is not favorable to another. So though it is easy to conjure up images of money, family, good works, vacations, personal fitness, life-long learning, beautiful home, etc; what these mean to each person will wildly vary. So perhaps its best not to talk about outcomes at all in a universal way but instead to focus on how we've felt when we've been the happiest in our lives.
Positive Psychology breaks down happiness into 3 areas: pleasure, engagement, and meaning.
Pleasure is what we think it is.. the momentary moments of joy throughout a day. It can come in the form of viewing beautiful art, taking a walk at sunset, a hug from a friend, a good meal.. What is pleasurable to one person is not necessarily pleasurable to another in the same degree. Discovering that which makes you feel joyous and alive is for many a lifelong quest in and of itself. Unfortunately, our connection and knowledge of our pleasure centers is often completely occluded by societal conditioning. We are constantly overwhelmed with media that tells us what to value. We are told what foods we are supposed to want to eat, what movies we are supposed to want to watch, who we are supposed to find attractive... The list is endless.
Many people spend their entire lives seeking out what appears pleasurable on TV without ever being in touch with how any particular activity makes them feel inside. Even those seeker of self-knowledge out there can't fully escape the claws of social conditioning. For instance - if you look at your life you might find yourself repeating a certain activity that doesn't actually bring you joy but is highly valued in society as something that does. For instance, you may choose to eat pizza regularly despite not relishing it or you may go out to clubs even though you don't love to do so.. We do these things again and again because we've been told that this is what "fun" is.
I remember an old friend of mine, Alison Harlow, once told me that when she taught magickal students her first question is what makes you feel most alive? That the bulk of work in the beginning of spiritual practice is figuring out this central question as within lie clues to one's true self. I have been exploring fitness-oriented activities recently and have discovered all sorts of things about myself. For instance, I really enjoy tennis but just don't like yoga. It is hard to admit I don't like hatha yoga (I love some other forms of yoga like pranyama and mantra but i'm talking about good ole fashion asana land here) because the world tells me yoga is wonderful. I'm "supposed" to like it. In fact, I can't help battling a feeling of deficiency in myself, a fear that something must be wrong with me to not enjoy this thing that so many love with all their hearts. After numerous attempts at finding pleasure in yoga, I find I'm still returning to it. Waiting for the perfect conditions that will make me feel like all these other people seem to feel. Recently, I've started to wonder if I should keep trying to do this thing that I really don't enjoy just because I've been told its good for me. What is good about yoga is mindfulness, body awareness, core conditioning, and flexibility. Surely, an enterprising person such as myself could figure out a way to get at these things doing something that is fun? Right? Generally, if we move past the behavior or thing to what we are hoping to get out of it, there are many creative solutions available to us.
Sometimes though, the answer is no. For instance, I'm in law school which is decidedly not a fun activity but it is the only activity that will allow me to practice law. In those instances, where I cannot find an alternate method of attainment, I have to try to find as much pleasure as I can during the pursuit of something that is decidedly unpleasurable. A law buddy of mine told me once she spent meticulous amounts of time coming up with great outfits each day for school because it changed her feeling while at school and gave her pleasure to wear something special and unique. She found a way to pair something she really enjoyed with something she didn't so that overall her experience of the thing she didn't enjoy was better. A common example is putting on your favorite music while you do your chores.
The exploration of pleasure can take many forms. Many philosophers have attempted to categorize various types of pleasure. The anthropologist Lionel Tiger divided pleasure into four categories: physical (sensory), social (social interaction), psychological (cognitive and emotional reactions such as when reading a good book), and ideological (when we are exposed to stimuli which reinforces our ideological beliefs). Sometimes it is good to make one's own list of categories and explore each area fully. Though this process can take a long time, it is shall we say quite pleasurable and not work at all. :D Someone exploring the pleasure of sexuality might experiment with the many forms of sexuality available to them to see what they really enjoy or an intellectual pursuit of pleasure can entail many different types of learning and analytical activities. Whether it be sexual, creative, social, or intellectual... it is good to explore all the different categories fully as it allows one an expanded conception of self..
I have in my discussion of pleasure hinted at both meaning and engagement. For instance, the process of exploring one's pleasures fully brings one a sense of engagement and increased the felt experience of happiness. One may ask why attend law school at all if it is unpleasurable? But attending law school, outside of providing the long-term pleasure (as opposed to immediate pleasure) of having the funds to do things I want to do and be intellectually challenged at work, also provides a sense of meaning and purpose.. All three of these qualities work together and are needed for a deep feeling of internal wellness/happiness.
If one pursues pleasure at the expense of engagement and meaning, it can become addiction and blind hedonism. Pleasure itself is by definition ephemeral moment of joy and happiness and many people get stuck pursuing fix after fix..whether its the runners high, sex, drugs, or the accumulation of wealth. In keeping pleasure in relationship to engagement and meaning, we moderate our pleasure-seeking tendencies by things that provide us deeper feeling of satisfaction.
Clearly, this short morning contemplation is not a complete offering on the nature of pleasure.. just a taste to wet your appetite.. ;)
If you are interested in reading more about Pleasure, I recommend this great article on pleasure from one of my favorite places on the internets - the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy.
Enjoy Life! Some morning inspirational music!
Positive Psychology breaks down happiness into 3 areas: pleasure, engagement, and meaning.
Pleasure is what we think it is.. the momentary moments of joy throughout a day. It can come in the form of viewing beautiful art, taking a walk at sunset, a hug from a friend, a good meal.. What is pleasurable to one person is not necessarily pleasurable to another in the same degree. Discovering that which makes you feel joyous and alive is for many a lifelong quest in and of itself. Unfortunately, our connection and knowledge of our pleasure centers is often completely occluded by societal conditioning. We are constantly overwhelmed with media that tells us what to value. We are told what foods we are supposed to want to eat, what movies we are supposed to want to watch, who we are supposed to find attractive... The list is endless.
Many people spend their entire lives seeking out what appears pleasurable on TV without ever being in touch with how any particular activity makes them feel inside. Even those seeker of self-knowledge out there can't fully escape the claws of social conditioning. For instance - if you look at your life you might find yourself repeating a certain activity that doesn't actually bring you joy but is highly valued in society as something that does. For instance, you may choose to eat pizza regularly despite not relishing it or you may go out to clubs even though you don't love to do so.. We do these things again and again because we've been told that this is what "fun" is.
I remember an old friend of mine, Alison Harlow, once told me that when she taught magickal students her first question is what makes you feel most alive? That the bulk of work in the beginning of spiritual practice is figuring out this central question as within lie clues to one's true self. I have been exploring fitness-oriented activities recently and have discovered all sorts of things about myself. For instance, I really enjoy tennis but just don't like yoga. It is hard to admit I don't like hatha yoga (I love some other forms of yoga like pranyama and mantra but i'm talking about good ole fashion asana land here) because the world tells me yoga is wonderful. I'm "supposed" to like it. In fact, I can't help battling a feeling of deficiency in myself, a fear that something must be wrong with me to not enjoy this thing that so many love with all their hearts. After numerous attempts at finding pleasure in yoga, I find I'm still returning to it. Waiting for the perfect conditions that will make me feel like all these other people seem to feel. Recently, I've started to wonder if I should keep trying to do this thing that I really don't enjoy just because I've been told its good for me. What is good about yoga is mindfulness, body awareness, core conditioning, and flexibility. Surely, an enterprising person such as myself could figure out a way to get at these things doing something that is fun? Right? Generally, if we move past the behavior or thing to what we are hoping to get out of it, there are many creative solutions available to us.
Sometimes though, the answer is no. For instance, I'm in law school which is decidedly not a fun activity but it is the only activity that will allow me to practice law. In those instances, where I cannot find an alternate method of attainment, I have to try to find as much pleasure as I can during the pursuit of something that is decidedly unpleasurable. A law buddy of mine told me once she spent meticulous amounts of time coming up with great outfits each day for school because it changed her feeling while at school and gave her pleasure to wear something special and unique. She found a way to pair something she really enjoyed with something she didn't so that overall her experience of the thing she didn't enjoy was better. A common example is putting on your favorite music while you do your chores.
The exploration of pleasure can take many forms. Many philosophers have attempted to categorize various types of pleasure. The anthropologist Lionel Tiger divided pleasure into four categories: physical (sensory), social (social interaction), psychological (cognitive and emotional reactions such as when reading a good book), and ideological (when we are exposed to stimuli which reinforces our ideological beliefs). Sometimes it is good to make one's own list of categories and explore each area fully. Though this process can take a long time, it is shall we say quite pleasurable and not work at all. :D Someone exploring the pleasure of sexuality might experiment with the many forms of sexuality available to them to see what they really enjoy or an intellectual pursuit of pleasure can entail many different types of learning and analytical activities. Whether it be sexual, creative, social, or intellectual... it is good to explore all the different categories fully as it allows one an expanded conception of self..
I have in my discussion of pleasure hinted at both meaning and engagement. For instance, the process of exploring one's pleasures fully brings one a sense of engagement and increased the felt experience of happiness. One may ask why attend law school at all if it is unpleasurable? But attending law school, outside of providing the long-term pleasure (as opposed to immediate pleasure) of having the funds to do things I want to do and be intellectually challenged at work, also provides a sense of meaning and purpose.. All three of these qualities work together and are needed for a deep feeling of internal wellness/happiness.
If one pursues pleasure at the expense of engagement and meaning, it can become addiction and blind hedonism. Pleasure itself is by definition ephemeral moment of joy and happiness and many people get stuck pursuing fix after fix..whether its the runners high, sex, drugs, or the accumulation of wealth. In keeping pleasure in relationship to engagement and meaning, we moderate our pleasure-seeking tendencies by things that provide us deeper feeling of satisfaction.
Clearly, this short morning contemplation is not a complete offering on the nature of pleasure.. just a taste to wet your appetite.. ;)
If you are interested in reading more about Pleasure, I recommend this great article on pleasure from one of my favorite places on the internets - the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy.
Enjoy Life! Some morning inspirational music!
